Things I learned and didn't learn

Here are a couple more quesions that Anton threw our way.

What have you learned about yourself during this trip?

I’ve been asking myself this question for the past 5 days and have not come up with anything. I’ve learned a few things to add to my life, but nothing really new about myself.

(My wife is calling to me over my shoulder telling me she learned that she loves to flush toilet paper. In every corner of Lebanon there are garbage cans sitting right beside the toilets. You don’t flush any paper down the sewer; rather you just wipe and place your paper in the garbage. Someone will eventually remove it later in the day or week . . . or month. She quipped off a few other things she learned about herself but I’ll keep them to myself. Very funny stuff.)

Since the team didn’t know me that well, I’m sure they all learned a few things about me that they didn’t know before. I got the odd look that would suggest disbelieve in what they just heard or saw me do. D’oh!

We had fun together.

What have you learned about God during this trip?

God is a God of great love for his children. Particularly for me.

We are quick to “teach” and encourage others about the grace and love that God has for them but not often do we stop and reflect on his love for ourselves as an individual. When God comes up close and personal with His love, all of a sudden life get’s very real and we have a choice to make. We can see ourselves as unworthy scum and push God away, or we can relax and just let the love of God land on us and do its work in us.

After being very sick for the first trip to the cedars (check out the blog on this day), He provided a second opportunity to go to another part of Lebanon to see the cedars on our second last day of the trip (check out the blog after this day). I had completely come to terms with my disappointment the first time, and rested in the fact that I would never see the cedars on this trip and the likelihood of seeing them before the new earth was also slim. I knew that for some reason, God’s reason, this was the way it was to play out.

So when I heard a few days later that we were going to take some time at another cedar location, my heart was not elated, but cautiously optimistic. When it actually happened and I found myself in the middle of the forest I was overcome with the love that God has for me. That He would gift me with something that I thought he didn’t want me to have. He wanted me to see this forest and not the other. This forest blew me away. It was fragrant, it was beautiful, it was mysterious, it was magnificent, and it was a picture of great strength.

Thank you God for your love for me; that you would give this good gift to me is beyond what I am worthy of, but I receive it with great joy and I love it.

jp

Things That Are Not

This past Tuesday I was reading Romans 4 and came to verse 17 where Paul states that Abraham was our father in the sight of God. God – who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.

Romans 4:17 (TNIV) As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.” He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.

I’ve always looked at this verse as a statement that God gives life to us through Jesus and then the part about "calling into being things that are not" was primarily a statement declaring God as creator. It’s all of this, but it became more for me this day as I read on into the next few verses.

As I read down to verse 19 I realized that when Paul talked about being dead in verse 17 he was referencing Abraham and Sarah. Abraham’s aged body was as good as dead and could not provide the seed necessary for an offspring. Sarah’s womb was also dead because of her age. Yet because of Abraham’s faithfulness to God, God called into being that which was not – that being Isaac!

I have experienced times in my life where I felt completely spent with nothing left to give. Perhaps you’ve had those feelings as well. Where you have moments when you question your significance or your ability to actually make a difference in your own life, the life of your family, or place of work.

These verses refreshed my spirit this week because I know that if I remain faithful to God in what he has given to me regardless of how I feel in the moment, then He will use it to call into being that which is not. . . . No, Kath and I are not planning more children. But I am confident that God is great and it’s in Him that I move and have my life and out of my faithfulness to Him he will call into being that which He needs to accomplish his good plan. I play a part in God’s story of redeeming mankind.

God chooses the foolish things and the weak things of this world (that would be me) to express His greatness to this world. I’ve been found secure in Christ, who is my righteousness, holiness and redemption. So I’m going to boast in my God all the days of my life, especcially in the middle of my weakknesses. (1 Cor 27-31)

jp

9 for 49

In That Secret Place

How about two blogs in two days! Just has some time and thought I would throw these two thoughts up here while I was thinking about it.

For the past year God keeps bringing me back to Psalms 139. I’ve been attempting to do a full memorization on this chapter because is speaks to me so kindly of how God sees me and thinks about me. I’ve got all kinds of study notes on this chapter now, but the thing that has been sticking out the most to me over the past while comes from verses 15 and 16.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

The first phrase of v15 does not do this justice to what the psalmist actually was implying. These verses are a powerful picture of God, up close and personal, knitting me together in my mother’s womb and never able to take His eyes off of me because I was the main focal point. It’s just like my Dad watching hockey when I was a kid. He was glued to the TV. If one of us kids tried to talk to him, he would respond, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the action in front of him. He would rock back and forth and side to side with all the hockey action, engaged verbally with the TV and in constant motion throughout the whole game. We were the distraction; the hockey was the prime focal point.

In my mother’s womb, I was the prime focal point for God. He couldn’t take His eyes off of me. He could not be distracted. A deeper study also showed me that not only was He completely focused on me, but he was actually mesmerized by me and couldn’t stop thinking about me. Mesmerized (or captivated) by me as He busied Himself with the act of created me, making me just like he had imagined before he even started a single stitch. In that dark, quiet, still place; in that secure and perfect incubator (my mom), there was God and there was me. And He loved me and couldn’t stop thinking about me. All I was able to do was to be there and receive and know the warmth of His presence and His love.

God, let this knowledge change my view of myself. May I come to really know and understand in my heart that you are a loving and gracious God and that you like to be with me. Bring me back often to that place of being perfectly still and quiet, delighting myself in your presence.

I got lots more on this chapter that God has used to speak deeply into my life. Perhaps someday I’ll expand some more.

jp